Workaholic....

Ok... I was riding home to my parents for one of the last times before I get married, and I was thinking about work. I was thinking about how busy I have been and how much I seem to be gone. My Dad instilled good work ethic in me and I will be eternally grateful for it. I plan to pass it on to my son. You work for everything you get. I guess I have been working alot, ok...alot...but its always for a good cause. Food, clothing, shelter, gas..etc. I take great pride in providing those things, and I take them very seriously. My wife calls me a workaholic. I cringe every time she say that, cause deep down inside it hurts. I am not a workaholic. I do work a fair amount, but at this point I don't see it any other way. I am the the hell who I am. I work. That is what I do. I seem to have a variety of reasons to work more, or less, and I guess it all depends on life at the present. I have to be honest. When I don't feel on top of the world, sometimes I will pick up a shift on the ambulance, or "FIND" things to do to keep myself busy. Hopefully I will be missed, or get some affermation saying that my hard work is appreciated. But, if neither of those work, I just get a little extra money-which is not to bad either. I mean look at the alternative. I could not be working....ya not at all. sit on the couch all day watching tv eating turkey sandwiches, and drinking beers. Or I could be the guy who can't hold a job at all. But I just seem to have a job that is TOO good and that pays TOO much, and is TOO time demanding. I know that there are people, be it men or women, that would kill to be in my spot. I don't get it. I don't like working to be honest. I just would work my 24 and fix on my house or call the other times. I guess I'm stuck in an unhealthy battle of my own emotions. Speaking of emotions...I do tend to work more to run from my emotions, then I don't have to deal with them. I guess I don't know how to get out. Like I have said in some other posts, I hope this all will end when I finish medic school. Honesty is the key to all things, and I have had to be honest. Honest with myself, and with my wife. Honesty sucks when It come to admitting that someone juuuust..might be right.